Interlude: Food, Stress, and Mourning

Hi, there. It's been a while. How's everyone doing?

I'm doing okay, but also, I am a bit of a mess. I think that's fair, really. My father, who had been ill for a very long time, decided to enter hospice care just after Thanksgiving, which sent me on an abrupt road trip of thousands of miles over the course of a week--to my home state of Oklahoma and back.

This is a food blog. I only very occasionally talk about things that are not food. And I'm still going to talk about food here, but without any photos of actual food. I was not in a state to take food photos.

Instead, this post will outline how I fed myself, and how others fed me, over a season of driving, seeing people I've not seen in a while, planning a funeral, having a funeral, and driving some more.

I had my reasons for driving rather than flying; I choose not to outline them here. But anyway, there was a total of about 6 days of driving itself--7, really, but I'm not counting half days. I was on the road without the time I would usually spend to plan things out thoroughly in advance. So here's what I ate with no notice.

As I gathered my things to go, I packed a small cooler and a tote bag with what I had on hand. I hadn't been to the store for a while, but I had most of a jar of peanuts, a handful of oat bars, and about half a pound of clementines. I also had one quart of shelf-stable soy milk. I figured those things would get me through a few meals, and I could stop at grocery stores as needed, if there wasn't anything to get on the road.

It was hard to eat. I didn't have much appetite. So for my first half day of driving, that was really all I had--handfuls of peanuts here and there, an oat bar, and a clementine, along with a Poppi grape soda I picked up at a travel plaza. And usually, that was my dinner on the road every time. I never felt like stopping for a full meal at night.

On the road, some rest stops had vending machines, and I sometimes also went to convenience stores when I bought gas. There, I usually bought water, but one vending machine had V8, and I got excited about the vegetable juice, so I had that. It was weirdly thrilling.

The hotels I stayed in had breakfast. My default got me through most days--instant oatmeal with about 1/4 cup of peanut butter (I was going for sustaining calories there, as well as protein), a banana, and a glass of orange juice. Two of the hotels I stayed in had chocolate and vanilla plant-based milks, so those were really exciting places; I took a few for the road, and some evenings this meant I got some chocolate soy milk at night to look forward to. One had Uncrustables, packages of Fig Newtons, and some Bel Vita biscuits, which I grabbed for on-the-road snacking, too.

Some friends helped me along the road. They gave me hummus, pretzels, baby carrots, grape tomatoes, and cucumber; this became part of my dinner for the nights after I saw them. They also gave me a few cans of lentil soup, which I microwaved in my hotel on days I didn't grab fast food somewhere during the day. And they gave me a gigantic package of lemon sandwich cookies that were vegan, which I am still working my way through.

And they gave me tea and more soy milk, which made for some nice evenings, too.

When I did buy fast food, here are the things I picked up on the road:

• Taco Bell--at Taco Bell, you can basically have a variety of iterations of rice and beans with veggies and some sauces. So I had bean and rice burritos, potato tacos, bean and rice bowls, refried bean bowls, and chips and guacamole. They were a bit bland sometimes, honestly, but I should have gotten spicier sauce packets, so that was my fault. This was a pretty good option on the road, and nearly universal across America.
• Burger King--They still have the Impossible Whopper. I ordered mine with mustard instead of mayo and they cooked it in "the hopper," separate from where the meat was being grilled, for me. I also got fries, because it seemed almost compulsory. I didn't get a drink. I don't find I feel very good drinking sugary things, and I don't like diet drinks, usually, so I just had water.
• Subway--Not all Subways have a veggie patty, but some do. I got so excited to find that! I bought a sandwich on Italian bread with the veggie patty and pretty well all the available veggie toppings (lettuce, tomato, onion, spinach, cucumber, bell pepper, pickles, olives, banana peppers), mashed avocado, oil and vinegar, and salt and pepper. I grabbed some plain baked chips to go along with this. This was one of my favorite meals, since veggies were sparse a lot of the time on the road. I would also have been fine with getting the "Veggie Delight," which is just veggie toppings on bread, though that would have required some supplementation.
• Azzip Pizza--This is a small chain I ran across in Indiana that is a bit like Chipotle in its style of service. You go up to the counter and tell the person making the pizza exactly what you want and they make it in front of you. They have vegan cheese and vegan meats, and you can get unlimited veggies for free. I had a small pizza piled with tons of veggies, vegan sausage, vegan pepperoni, and vegan cheese, which was quick-cooked in a conveyor belt oven. It was a nice meal, and if you're in that area, I'd recommend trying them out.
• Roy Rogers--I just got fries here; they didn't have anything else that seemed like it would work. The ketchup came in cups rather than in packets, and I realized I was channeling my father when I ate them, because I seasoned my ketchup with salt and pepper packets before dipping my fries in. I don't usually do this. My father always did. It tasted familiar, in a way, like the fries he shared with me when I was little.

There are those who would say you should just give up on veganism under such significant stress. If you do it, I can understand how sometimes pressures mount. But for me, it would have been more stressful to eat things I'm not comfortable eating, for ethical and other reasons. I didn't eat at my father's funeral, because it had been catered by a local place where absolutely nothing was vegan at all, and because I still wear a mask indoors. I don't know that it went over well that I did that, but I'm comfortable with my choices in that regard.

At home, I wasn't able to think straight for a while, so I defaulted to my no-thinking groceries. You'll see those when I share them for a bit, but hopefully my no-thinking type meals--sandwiches, baked beans and boxed macaroni, spaghetti and meatballs, etc.--will help someone else who might struggle with knowing what to do when the world caves in.

See you soon. Or not. But when I can.